In the past, it was unthinkable for a Ghanaian wife to cheat because offenders were severely punished. Today, however, the eyes of Ghanaian wives are’ open’ and are matching their men ‘bumper to bumper’.
Women cheat for any reason you can think about but the most important reason is that their emotional needs such as affection, companionship, family commitment, and financial security are not being met. Sadly, most Ghanaian husbands are ignorant about how important these needs are to women and push their women to cheat unawares.
Women cheat to feel loved, cherished and admired. Today, there are countless stories of wives of big men sleeping with their drivers, house helps, office colleagues to feel loved.
Imagine the case of a young wife married for five years. The husband never takes her out or compliments her. However, in her office, there is this young man who compliments everything she wears and does. She has fallen in love with him and is now cheating on his husband. Today, office romance has become a fertile ground for cheating.
Some women cheat for personal benefits such as money, promotion and high exam scores. If husband and wife are struggling and the woman is baited with a lucrative offer with strings attached, she may bite and console herself that she is doing it to save her family. They use what they have to get what they want.
Some women cheat to spice up their marriage. A woman may cheat when her husband is poor in bed and her ex was super in bed. There are also cases when women cheat because their men are sick or impotent and friends encourage them to cheat because ‘body no be firewood’
Signs of cheating
If a man cheats, there is a 90 per cent chance his woman knows it because she has the intuition to read a man’s emotions easily like she reads ABC. She may keep quiet just to keep the peace in the marriage.
It is, however, more difficult to detect a cheating wife because women are very good in covering their indecent acts because men have big eyes but do not see anything.
However, the most obvious sign is the change in her lifestyle and attitude; she delegates household responsibilities to house helps and shifts focus to friends, work and associations. Some change their appearance, including slimming down and spending a lot on clothes and make ups.
Some shift their focus on the negative areas of their husbands and will accuse their men on everything, including cheating just to divert attention. Others shower their men with pleasure and gifts. They no longer get angry and lead independent lives.
It is far more serious for a woman to cheat than a man. She may get pregnant and give it to her husband who has to take care of someone’s biological child for life. She is more prone to sexually transmitted diseases due to her sexual anatomy.
The greatest emotional need of a man is respect from his woman. To think that someone has looted his precious property breaks down a man’s self-esteem.
A man without his self esteem is a living dead. Some react violently towards their rivals. In fact, cheating is one thing a man finds most unforgiving in a marriage because it is one thing that destroys the sanity and sanctity of marriage as it takes enormous emotional, physical and spiritual energy from the marriage.
It also has ripple effects on your friends, work and social status. It has, therefore, never been a solution but the problem; it is like a broken glass – it may be repaired but will never be the same.
Is your woman cheating?
Feel the pain but do not attack your woman or the other man. Find time to talk about it and listen with empathy to your woman.
Chances are that you caused it. Examine yourself and find what you can do better to be more lovable. Let go the hurt and forgive your woman unconditionally and never bring up the matter again, especially if you are also guilty of infidelity.
The good news is that infidelity does not have to end in divorce; it is what you do after the act that determines the health of your marriage.
If you truly love your woman, show it when she offends you by restoring your marriage. Keep loving your woman through thick and thin.