Jealousy: A state where you have the emotional need to be assured that your place in the life and heart of the one you love (the same “one” that loves you) is intact, and will not be taken away by another (whether person or thing)
Envy: A state where you wish for a situation you know you will never have, and a situation which you know you will not even be fulfilled about if you had it the way you wanted. You hate almost everything and everyone around your spouse because of the competition you feel they are giving you in your spouse’s life. You wish no one else calls or sends SMS to your spouse; You wish your spouse was not on facebook; you wish your spouse doesn’t get calls from or talk to colleagues and clients of the opposite sex; You wish your spouse didn’t have contacts of the opposite sex in his/her phone. It’s a dangerous thing and gives rise to something much worse…
Obsession: A state where jealousy has advanced through envy and has become a situation where you will do anything and play any trick to see to it, that you have your spouse and his/her attention all to yourself… You achieve this by controlling the life, moments and activities of your spouse through harassment, intimidation, manipulation and abuse (verbal, physical, emotional, financial and sexual).
You lose your appetite, your taste-buds stop working properly, you are always in an unnecessary rage, and you wallow in an unwarranted self-pity when the obsession bug bites you… You put your spouse in a bad state; you make your spouse almost mindless and choke the very essence of his/her being.
Manage jealousy by being understanding, appreciative, accountable and trustworthy.
Never allow it to transcend into envy. Guard your heart against obsession.
It kills you and yours. Love and be loved. Be well… Blessings and more, to you and yours.
Ogochukwu Nweke is a prominent author, public speaker, counselor and lecturer. He has written many books on love and relationships. Ask Ogo your relationship questions and you shall have the best of answers from a man well versed in the subject.
Don’t miss any edition of the MARRIAGE CLINIC on the last Saturday of every Month.
The venue is SSNIT Guest House and the time is from 3pm-6:30pm.